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President Squidward
President Squidward is the current President of the Gigaverse. Squidward came to power in the gigayear 293749373 and has been the president since. Squidward has been re-elected 999999999999999 times because no one fucking cares anymore. Squidward is a member of the Squid Party, and holds a firm belief in Squid rights. He has held 100% voting popularity from the entire Squid population every time he has ran, although that is only 0.000001% of voters. Since, nobody other than squids care about squid rights, Squidward was voted for because of his strong belief in a stable Gigaverse. Previous presidents such as Red Spongebob or Shinji were really shitty people and only wanted to like take over the universe and shit, but Squidward wanted to unite. Running against opponent Purple Spongebob, Squidward stole 100% of the vote. Nobody voted for Purple Spongebob at all, and even Purple Spongebob was recorded to be at the polls voting for Squidward. Since then, Squidward has been president. Pre-Ascension Squidward was born on July 12th, 1986. His father, Squidwort immediately threw him out the window, since he was so damn ugly. Squidward hit the ground like a fucking rock and died instantly, but miraculously survived. He raised himself with no parents what-so-ever. The world spit in the face of Squidward Tentacles. One day, Squidward was magically buffed by The Great Catalyst with an immortality rune, as well as the homeward miracle. A loading screen later, Squidward teleported to his mother's womb, killing her instantly because he was so damn big. His father was there just like staring at him because of what just happened he just like exploded his whore wife. Squidward found the nearest knife set, stopped time, and threw a bunch of knives at his father. When time resumed, the knives flew into his father, instantly killing him. Squidward then gathered 36 sinners and showed some words to some guy. He didn't know why he had to do any of this bullshit, but hey he did it anyway. Squidward swam across the ocean, going to North latitude, 28 degrees, 24 minutes, West longitude, 80 degrees, 36 minutes. He sat there and waited for the new moon. Squidward then ascended heaven, as the prophecy had once foretold. Heaven Ascended Squidward Squidward gained many powers after ascending to heaven, such as teleportation, mind reading, the abilty to jump like 10 feet in the air, the ability to grow new limbs, the ability to shoot lasers out of his eyes, the ability to traverse time, the ability to lick his own elbow (only the right one, sadly), the ability to just like look at people and they die (for some reason it never works and never has but he does have this ability), and the ability to. These powers would probably only make him like F tier at best, but he also has the ability to make a mean sloppy joe so that brings him up so high. Presidency Squidward was 26 when a goblin came out of nowhere and almost killed him by pushing him out into the street. Squidward fucking killed him. This has absolutely nothing to do with the presidency. When Squidward was like 35 he ran for president because he wanted to have power and also wanted to raise awareness for squid rights but nobody fucking cares about squids so everyone shat all over squidward. The only real reason Squidward actually fucking won because he was running against Purple Spongebob and anyone could beat that purple fuck in a democratic vote. Squidward had a total of like 27326548263 votes for him and that's like a lot. Policies When Squidward became president everything changed. Squids took over earth and basically the entire Normal World. Nobody really gave a fuck to be honest because Squidward like fixed the economy like completely. Squidward enacted the "ultimate ultra tax act" that taxed like everything and for some reason everyone gained like $2387234687235237649328765392476329746923786483645973647028049 so Squidward was like rollin in it In his 2nd year of Presidency, Squidward was assassinated. When Squidward was 22 he was like uhjhhhhhhhhhhhhh War Mongering Squidward has been known to start a million wars against literally everyone in the entire Gigaverse. Many conspiracy theorists think that Squidward was actually responsible for flying two planes into The Void just so he could start more wars. Squidward has personally killed more people than anyone has ever killed before but shh. One time [[Pepsi Man Ultimatum|'Pepsi Man Ultimatum']] came to Squidward and proposed the question "Does Mountain Dew White Out cure cancer?" and Squidward was like nah and so Pepsiman kill him but then Golbin came outta nowhere and they kill pepsi man but pepsi man pulled out a giantg sword!!! all of a sudden squidward turned usper sayan 4 and got glowing yellow hair and opucnhes pepsi man roght in his dace!! oh my gooooddd - josep josphe josyar Death In 1985, Squidward came down with a horrible case of purple arms disease. This made him so weak that he was bedridden forever. On July 4th, 1984, Squidward D. Testicles died. However, no one was really that concerned, not because nobody likes Squidward but because everyone knew that he could be resurrected. They built a giant resurrection gun and shot a come back to life bullet right through his giant fucking skull oh my god why is his head so fucking big what the fuck. Squidward's head exploded and he was alive.Category:Character Category:Good